just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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