You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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