I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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