I could make wine with my vomit
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
