i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
