she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
When are your genitals available?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
