Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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