her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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