I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
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