actually, I'm a sock model
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
