I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
operation have a gay friend backfired
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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