Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
