dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
