omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
