I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
