It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
