Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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