Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
