She's JV to your varsity
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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