he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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