Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
