so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
