its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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