wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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