I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
