google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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