Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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