Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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