Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
