dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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