Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
