my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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