Betty ford says i'm here all night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize