I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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