I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
