The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
