I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
