Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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