I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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