You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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