A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
