im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
