I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
