Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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