90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
