oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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