Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
