You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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