Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
