Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize