So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
