Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
