it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
