I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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