i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
