I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
