at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
