Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
